Losing a Loved One
As some of you might know, The Whisper of God community has grown substantially over the past ten days due to a new FaceBook page that I launched. As part of the page, many members of our community have been sending in prayer requests. One struck me this morning that said:
“I ask for prayers for my families esp my daughters and I; we just lost our husband, son, brother, and dad. he took ill on his way to iraq. thank you”
I wrote the following in response to this prayer request:
Many members of our community have been, through their prayer requests, sharing with us their loss of loved ones. A few of our members have lost loved ones while serving in the military.
One prayer request in particular has come in from Becky. She has asked for us to pray for her, her daughters, and their family as her husband was lost on the way to Iraq.
My stepbrother, Christopher, has served in many dangerous situations around the world and most recently in Iraq and Afghanistan. With God by his side, he has come home safely from everywhere he has been sent. In fact, even though I haven’t spoken to him in a while, I know that one of the things that he is happiest about is that he came home from his last deployment with every man that went over with him. He didn’t have one loss.
But why is it that he suffered no losses while others have lost so greatly? Why is it that two people can be standing next to each other and one killed and one survive without a scratch.
I don’t know if anyone can definitively answer these questions; I only know what our faith teaches us about God and His plan for each of us.
Sharon and I recently lost a friend in a very violent incident. I told this story in my article “Grieving for a Friend.” At the time, we were looking for comfort and this is what I wrote:
We will never understand the way God works. The only solace is that this must all be part of God’s plan.
God takes people when it is their time to go.
We are sad when we know we will never see our friends again. Even though it is difficult to do, we should be happy for these people since they will be now spending the rest of their time with God.
But how do we get over our sadness?
Matthew 5:4 tells us: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew is telling us that it is we, the people that live and mourn, that need to be and will be comforted. Why is it that we should be comforted just by Matthew’s words? Our faith in God and the fact that this is his plan is the main reason. But this is based on faith. Is there anything other than just having faith in Matthew’s words that provides comfort?
Our true comfort comes from Luke who recounts Jesus’ words to the man who was being crucified next to him.
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." Luke 42-43
This is the true source of our comfort: knowing that upon our death we will be with God in paradise.
Becky, I don’t know if, at the moment, you can gain any consolation from this or not but I can only assume that God needed your husband and your daughter’s father to do His work in heaven now.
The pain of your loss and his absence will linger for a while, but his spirit will live on forever not only in your memories but also in the traits that he instilled in your daughters. I am sure that when you look into the faces of your daughters, you many times see their father. Take comfort in and celebrate the fact that a part of him will live on forever through them.
To everyone who has experienced such a traumatic and tremendous loss: while we grieve here on earth for our loss, our loved ones are with God doing His work and looking after us from there. Some day we will be able to not weep for our loss and sadness but we will be able to rejoice in a life lived and the time we were blessed to be able to spend together.
May God’s love be with you and comfort you in your times of sorrow and may God’s love and guidance help you, over time, find happiness in the knowledge that your loved ones are not gone from us, they have only left our physical world and now reside with us in our heart, spirit, and memories through which they will be with us forever.
Enjoyed the article Elmer.
1Separation will always be sad because we don’t fully understand. The only comfort we get when separated from a loved one is faith in God and trusting Him in His plans. I lost my son in a car accident a few years ago. By using the word “lost” I’m using the wrong word. Because nothing is lost if you know where it is. The bible tells me he is with God and that settles it. What better company than God is there? I’ll just have to wait patiently to see him again. As patiently as I was to see him before he was born.
2Love your website……..God Bless You
Amen
3My heart goes out to all parents who lost children, I lost my son Matthew on Sept. 2d, 2007, just 2 1/2 months after his 30th birthday. Matthew was strong in the word and witnessed to many, even at his funeral, people who never met him, went back to church and renewed their relationship with Jesus, He (Matthew) was very talented, had his own business, everyone loved him. But someone didn’t. Matthew was killed by high quantities of liquit morphins give him in a glass of water in someone elses apt. the investigation was messed up and now 33 month ago on the 2d of June, when Matthew went home to be with the lord, his case has been determined cold, and until Jesus returns and judges them for it, they run free. My heart still aches for him, and resently, I have nightmeres about him. I took a nap today and dreamed he came back alive in his cascet and was joking and comparing hand size with his only brother. It was good to hear his voice, and see him smile. but it shook me to the bone. I hurt so bad still and thought I had given it to God and forgiven those involved, but why the dreams now. last time I dreamped of him in the cascet was two weeks before he died. as if God was preparing me for it. I just don’t understand. Maybe my faith is week. Please pray for me, this torment is more than I can handle. god bless you tramendiously for our web. thank you.~~~~~~~~GOD BLESS
4I too have had loved ones taken too soon…But, I guess God has His own reasons for allowing even horrible accidents to happen… My precious husband of 29 years was killed in a senseless accident on the job…I will never understand, until God tells me face to face some day..But I trust that all is as it is meant to be…this happened almost 14 years ago, and not a day passes that I don’t miss him, and our sweet baby daughter that was stillborn 37 years ago.. Faith gets me through each day until I will see them both again. I am a stronger person because of this…I do have a lot of blessings left to live for. A daughter and son and three precious grandchildren…He still blesses me EVERY day!
5I just lost my fiance to cancer..My whole life seems to have done a 360. I struggle to go on, as he was my soul mate, my best friend, my life..Never have I felt such heart break..I don’t know how to live on, I feel so crushed…how? How? do you get past it?
6We lost a son almost four years ago, suddenly, unexpectedly, from a heart condition. A day after his 25th birthday. I wrote that the Lord knows the number of hairs on our heads, the number of our days. The timing of our death is perfect. More recently, my brother and his wife lost their only child in May in a lake that was too cold. He was such an amazing young man, just turned 18. He was getting ready to go to missionary prep school before college…..The impact of his short life is yet to be told.
7My husband passed away almost two months ago from Cancer . 31 yrs together I am lost , I cant find peace . I havent gone to church since I was a kid . This past sunday I went . I am trying to find the right place for me so I am going to different churches . I will know when I hear the right words . I have a need in me since his passing to go to church . So I pray through this and god I will find peace and exceptence of his passing so I can move forward.
8I have a question is it true that no-body goes to heaven or below till judgement day . So if that is true where does the spirit go after they pass >> and when is judgement day
9@ Donna, II Corinthians 5:1-8 states we are given brand new bodies made by the hands of God himself. I believe our spirit/soul goes directly to Heaven. Which is where my husband is. The Jehovah Witnesses believe that when we die we are nothing (sleep like) until judgement day… then earth will be Heaven. I’m a Presbyterian USA and I disagree with that wholeheartedly. Why else would He “wipe away all their tears”.
10I like all of you have loss my mother, who is my best friend, who loved me unconditionally. I hope someday I will find someone who walks the face of the earth that I can love as much for I don’t have any children for I have never been married yet because it is hard to find a man who will give me the one thing that I need the most. I am 40 now and as time goes by so fast I just look forward to the day when I will be with God, with Jesus, and with my mom and my dad. I just look forward to the day I will have peace.
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